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National Anti-Bullying Month: Fact, Figures, and Steps to Take
Bullying certainly made headlines after Columbine in April 1999, but it’s taken on an added urgency now due to a recent spate of children who took their own lives – quite literally being stalked to death. Even President Obama made it one of his priorities.
As he advised, “We need to dispel the myth that bullying is just a normal rite of passage — that it’s some inevitable part of growing up. It’s not. We have an obligation to ensure that our schools are safe for all. our children. And to everyone young person out there, you need to know that if you have a problem, there are caring adults who can help.”
To that end, October was named National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month, with November promoted as Anti-Bullying Month, the 15th through the 19th Anti-Bullying Week, and the first named National Anti-Bullying Day.
All very noble, but lofty labels alone, while garnering a certain amount of attention, do not necessarily affect change. Instead, every day of the year, we all need to pull ourselves together and stop attributing all this meanness to just kids being kids.
Very recently in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania, yet another child died by his own hand: 17-year-old Jesse Buchsbaum hanged himself in his home, and his parents believe that bullying contributed to his death.
That’s why school districts across the country are so committed to reducing bullying, establishing a student code of conduct, providing outreach programs for parents and adopting programs like Olweus and Roots of Empathy, or ROE, which shows even more promise to stop it. some call it an epidemic of abuse.
At the heart of school efforts, however, is creating a climate where students can confide in their teachers, counselors and administrators, knowing that their concerns will be taken seriously and addressed promptly.
Take, for example, Pottstown High School’s “Restorative Practices,” which produces a culture of support when children are confronted with bullying. And, when initial efforts to prevent the problem prove inadequate, as Principal Stephen Rodriguez says, “The district becomes tough.”
So should we all.
A recent Josephson Institute of Ethics survey of 43,321 teenagers, 15 to 18, from 78 public and 22 private schools, found that 50% said they had been “bullied, teased or taunted in a way that seriously bothered me at least once.”
Meanwhile, in the past 12 months…
• 52% said they would hit someone in anger;
• 37% of boys and 19% of girls said it’s okay to hit or threaten someone who makes them angry.
And, as if that weren’t enough, along with the fact that obese children are bullied more than anyone else, a US Department of Justice investigation found that:
• 25% of children are bullied.
• 14% of those who were bullied experienced severe/bad reactions.
• 20% admitted to being a bully or doing some bullying.
• 43% are afraid of being bullied in the school bathroom.
• 8% said they miss one day of school every month for fear of bullying.
Even more worrying is that bullying behavior patterns are set from age six.
All of this, of course, suggests that, along with sticks and stones, words do hurt, and that means it’s all the more necessary for us parents to be proactive.
Start by asking your child’s doctor to discuss bullying during checkups. Also, since this is not a time to adhere to some unwritten code of silence, be sure to remind your child to confide in a trusted adult—you or someone else—whenever being bullied.
Always be vigilant as well, noting behaviors that suggest bullying might be involved, such as if your child:
1) Becomes moody, withdrawn or stressed.
2) Complaints of stomachaches and/or nightmares.
3) Shows signs of physical abuse, including tattered clothing and unexplained bruises.
4) Experiences a drop in grades.
5) Expresses contempt for others and engages in a lot of gossip.
Bottom line: listen well to your child, paying close attention and providing solid support – communicating openly and serving as a guide without interfering unnecessarily in their life. And, of course, also monitor your own behavior, because research tells us that the typical bully comes from a conflicted family.
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