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Bullying – What’s a Bully, How to know if a Child is Being Bullied, Spotting a Bully
What is a Bully?
A Bully is someone who teases, hits, pushes or threatens another. If for example, you are with your friends and start making fun of someone in the group you are being a bully. You maybe thinking, “Peking Duck it’s all in fun!” True, but you are having fun at the expense of someone else’s feelings? Any teasing or hateful words can lead to long lasting hurtful memories.
When I was a cute little duckling there was this one big brown duckling that was bigger than me but not fully-grown. He would swim around in our pond showing off and being mean to all the other ducklings. Even though he was mean to them most of time the little ducklings would still follow him around as if he was some great leader. For some reason they thought it was sweet to hang out with an older duckling.
One day the other ducklings and I were playing tag and the big brown duck swam near us laughing and calling me names. He was making fun of my glasses, my hat and my Chinese accent. Soon the other ducks stopped playing tag with me and began to tease too. Even my best friend Orlando Jim started to quack up with all the rest of them.
The big brown duck swam over to me with all the other ducklings following him. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I don’t like the way you quack!” then he turned to the other ducks and screamed, “Peking Duck squeals like a piggy when he quacks!” Then he opened his mouth real wide and let out a big squeal. He told all the other ducks to squeal and they did. Soon they were all swimming in a circle around me squealing and laughing. I was embarrassed and hurt. Tears were running down my beak. I dunked my whole body under the water to escape. I swam home as fast as I could. Most of the way home they followed me squealing and laughing. When I arrived home, I wiped the tears from my eyes. My mother asked me what was wrong but I never told her. I kept it to myself.
The next day my best friend Orlando Jim came over to play. He couldn’t understand why I was so upset. I asked him why he had to make fun of me? Why he didn’t tell the other ducks how wrong it was to tease another? He bowed his head and whispered, “We were just goofing around.” I asked him how he would feel if I made fun of him? He replied, “I would be mad at you.” “And that is how I feel right now,” I explained “MAD!”
The point is, if you tease and make fun of another person you are going to hurt their feelings and make them mad. If you are with your friends and one person is bullying another, don’t support the bully; support the person being picked on. Be a wise quack and say, “hey stop it!” or better yet find an adult to help you end a very bad situation.
Remember, if you join in on the teasing and hurtful word you become a bully too.
How to Know if a Student is Being Bullied
If you notice a behavior change, you may want to talk to the child to see if there is anything wrong. For example, if a child is normally out-going and willing to participate one day and then all of a sudden they’re quiet and afraid to raise their hand. Or, a calm child becomes loud and obnoxious. If this happens, you may want to talk to the child to see if someone is bullying them. Unfortunately when you ask the student if there is a problem he/she may not give you a truthful answer so it is very important that you recognize warning signs.
Here are a list of warning signs:
By keeping a watchful eye you can help to prevent serious emotional and physical damage.
How Do You Spot A Bully?
Unlike the movies and television shows that dress the bullies up in leather jackets, greased hair, and tattoos with a mean look on their face, real life bullies many not resemble any of these characters. The truth is a bully can be tall, large, small, smart, average, muscular, thin, not so smart, not so muscular, small, young old. The one thing that all bullies have in common is that they like to be the boss or the leader. You can tell they are bullies when they are trying to drain the self-esteem of others so they can make themselves look and feel better.
Here is a list of things to look for in your classroom, in the hallway, on the playground or at home:
If one child is pushing another child
If one child is making fun of the way another child looks
If one child is always talking negatively about another student or students
If there are conversations going on between children leaving one or more out of the group
If you see students on the playground grouping together in a circle
If a student reacts violently toward you or another student
If you see that students seem to be intimidated by another student
If you see a repeated and consistent negative action towards another student
There is an imbalance of power between an alleged bully and the targeted student
Remember that all students, staff and parents have the power to put an end to a conflicting situation before it escalates in a negative physical or emotional situation.
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