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My Girlfriend Wants to Be Friends – What Can I Do?
She sits you down. breaking up with you As the smoke clears, then she mutters that dreaded phrase that no one ever wants to hear:
“It’s okay, we can still be friends…”
Hers a friend. This is what you are to her now. You’ve gone from as close and as intimate as two people can possibly be, and in the span of a single day, your ex suddenly wants nothing more than to be your friend.
Or is she?
You’ll hear a lot of people tell you that they “stayed friends” with an ex after the breakup. Hell, you might even see some of them hanging out. But that’s on the surface. That seems to be the way things are. In reality though, understand this:
YOU CAN’T BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND
Neither do you want to. Because in some ‘friends’ with an ex-situation, one person always want the other person more. There are always unrequited feelings when it comes to a breakup, because every breakup has a winner and a loser. ALWAYS.
It’s always funny when you hear someone talk about a breakup being “mutual.” This is rampant bull, no matter who’s spouting it. Even if the couple is bad for each other, even if they broke up because of constant fighting, in the end, there is always ONE person who said “Hey, this is over”, and the other person had to sit and pretend that they were. agreeing with it, when in reality, that was the furthest thing from the truth.
How to Handle Being on the Losing End of a Breakup
Okay, now that you’ve realized yourself as the ‘dumpee’ and your girlfriend as the ‘dump’, you can move forward to what you really want: getting your relationship back. This is something you can only achieve once you’ve accepted that your relationship is finally over, and haven’t tried to pull it off through some lame “let’s be friends” junk.
Honestly, you don’t want your old relationship back. You want your girlfriend back. But you want her in a new relationship; one free of all the crap that caused your breakup in the first place. One that allows you both to start fresh, rather than having to repeat the same old issues you’ve been fighting over for months and even years.
Soon, you’ll be using some shortcut strategies to change your ex’s mind. It will happen quickly, so be prepared for it. But this can only happen if you are willing to do the exact opposite of what you are doing now: break the ties and move forward. Cutting off the strings of your past relationship, and not embarrassing yourself by dangling some lame promise of friendship.
Why Being Friends With Your Ex Girlfriend Never Works
There are many reasons why staying friends after your breakup is bad, but let’s first look at what your girlfriend wants. Ready? Good:
- She wants the security of knowing you’re ‘still there’, so it is easier to break up with you.
- She wants that security because it ratifies her decision to break up with you.
- She wants to see you upset and despondent, because it makes her feel like she won when she broke up with you.
- She loves the attention of knowing you still love her while she does stays far away, safely broken with you.
Still seeing a pattern? ok Because most guys who agree to the post-breakup, “let’s be friends” nonsense don’t. They’re so desperate to stay in their girlfriend’s life – even as something as lame as a “friend” – that they’re willing to forget about the part where it’s practical. destroys any chance of getting her back.
When you stay friends with your ex, you give her comfort. security security
You give her a shoulder to cry on. An ear to talk to whenever she feels sad or lonely, so she can be cheered up.
Staying friends means she will see you NOT dating other people while you wait her around. And yes, she knows full well that you are still waiting for her.
Mostly, by asking to be your “friend”, your girlfriend has banished you to that place you never want to be: the friend zone.
Now the problem is you want her back. But you want her back so badly that you’re willing to “do anything” to get her, which means you’ll bite the bullet and be that good friend whenever she needs it.
What if You Are Friends with Your Ex Already?
Have you already made the mistake of staying friends with your ex-girlfriend? That’s easy: throw her away.
Yes, that’s right: ditch the friendship. You don’t have to be a jerk about it, just stop texting and stop calling and stop posting to her Facebook page.
And when does she call you? Stop taking those calls. Stop replying to her texts, and when she starts with cute feelers like “Hey, did you get off the face of the Earth?” make sure those texts are met with even MORE silence.
The silence she feels should be deafening. Make her lonely. Make Her wonder where you went. And after a few days of this? Respond with a single, cryptic line: “Sorry, been busy.”
It’s none of her business what you got involved with, because guess what: she’s not your girlfriend. Think about it: if you questioned her about what she did, she would take it as you trying to work your way back into a relationship with her again. That’s why she gets the same treatment.
There are many different ways to lure your girlfriend back, but the most important thing is to first have a step-by-step plan. Don’t act without knowing exactly how to handle your ex’s most common responses, and without knowing exactly what to say and do.
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