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The Power of Storytelling

Remember the end of The Wizard of Oz when Glenda the Good Witch asks Dorothy what she learned on her journey. Dorothy says, “I guess I’ve learned that when you want and want your heart’s desire but you can’t find it, then maybe it’s in your own backyard and you never really lost it to begin with.”

The ideas that many parents want their children to embrace—ideas like cooperation, kindness, or honesty—may be the most difficult concepts for parents to get across. In a flicker, youngsters spot a lecture coming and quickly mentally retreat, leaving behind a black expression that almost every parent recognizes with a sigh.

Fortunately, “in their own backyard”, parents already have a strategy that is fully capable of effectively conveying these messages to ready and open ears. I invite you to rediscover a secret weapon that you have always had – and young people have always responded to – the Story.

Ancient Treasure

In these days of “virtual-this” and “electronic-that,” there are those who might relegate storytelling to the dusty realm of a bygone era. Yet storytelling remains strongly ingrained in our human cultural experience after all these years. We see it surface in many forms. From sales pitches by advertisers, to speeches made by public figures, to broadcasters’ eager promise for “More on that story after our commercial break…”

Among children, however, storytelling holds an even stronger and deeper magic. Indeed, it seems that children demand stories with the same insistence that they hunger for attention or food!

Transfixed by Stories

Parents worldwide will witness the phenomenon that is children and stories. The magical opening, “Once upon a time…” or “Many years ago…” will focus young eyes that, just a moment ago, were aimlessly darting along the ceiling. Occasional random openings such as, “Here’s a story I heard today you might like…” or “Did you hear the story about…?” bring dangling and impatient feet to freeze mid-swing. A child engrossed in the travels of a wandering fruit fly turns his full attention to the story’s narrator. The sense of concentration is palpable.

As a Girl Scout leader, I once hauled a station wagon full of shockingly hoarse 6-year-old Brownies. Three times I stopped the car to scold the bad guys for fighting, yellow, throwing, hitting. All to no avail. Loss, I slipped in a CD of fairy tales. Immediately, the entire carload became still. The would-be hooligans remained completely still until the end of the story, at which point they almost immediately burst into mischief again. The next story began and, once again, silence replaced the regret.

Why are children’s attention captivated by stories? First, the pattern of stories (beginning-middle-end) establishes a structure that children recognize and understand. The ending is sure to be satisfying – the triumph of the youngest of three children, the tackling of impossible tasks, the glory of a troubled romance set right. Such popular themes in fairy tales show children, as Bruno Bettleheim says in his classic study The Uses of Witchcraft“that a struggle against severe difficulties in life is inevitable” but that if you meet the difficulties, you will “overcome all obstacles and finally come out victorious.”

Indeed, children seem to respond well to any story offering magic or fantasy, perhaps because, being young, they live closer to the outer worlds of magic and fantasy themselves. When my older daughter was 4½ years old, she started the morning with a small hole in her pants, which by the end of the day exposed most of her knee. “That hole is getting so big,” I warned her, “soon you’re going to fall into it.” “You’re kidding!” she said with a chuckle, and then looked straight at me – “huh?” As children enter elementary school, their personal sense of time and place sharpens, but the world of magic and storyland beckons at the borders.

Contemporary stories of modern life can also capture powerful affirmations on a child’s heart when the story features the child, family members, friends, or other people the child knows. Openings such as, “Did I tell you the story about your wild grandfather Louis, who threw the whole town into a panic when…” or “I’ll never forget what happened when you were just learning to walk and…” also nail the attention of a child due to the personalized nature of the story.

Add to all these factors the experience of hearing a story – that is, the narrator’s voice, the effect of direct eye contact, the entertaining quality of hand gestures, facial expressions, ad-libs, and dramatic reactions to events in the story, and it is not surprising that children are mesmerized by stories.

The simple fact that stories reliably capture children’s attention creates a unique and meaningful opportunity for parents. While young people often respond reluctantly, if not outright rebelliously, to direct parental instructions on how to behave, those same children will welcome and absorb the same ideas when woven through a story.

As a parent, which scenario do you prefer? Relate instructions to a child whose expression dares, “Whatever-you’re-selling-I’m-not-buying-it!” Or offer those same instructions to a child whose expression says, “Really? Tell me more. Now.”

While we can agree that stories are a powerful conduit, it is also clear that in and of themselves, stories do not necessarily deliver positive messages. In fact, stories can just as easily deliver negative messages, and often do. Imagine that a story is a form of transportation, a kind of express vehicle. Its contents may be fresh crisp apples, or its contents may be cartons of explosives. The content that is loaded onto the “story express” at the start of its journey will determine what is received at its destination. As a parent, your role is to load worthy messages onto your story express and send it to its destination – the heart of your child.

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