Finding The Right Life Jacket For 2 Year Old Toddlers Grocery Shopping, Weekday Evenings and Other Family Hazards (Discipline With the Brain in Mind)

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Grocery Shopping, Weekday Evenings and Other Family Hazards (Discipline With the Brain in Mind)

The best place to observe the wide range of parenting discipline styles is any grocery store between the hours of four and seven. Here you will hear one mother yelling at her crying toddler, one father threatening to withdraw a privilege from her nine-year-old child, another mother bribing her children with candy and sweets if her children will only cooperate so they can finish their task quickly, and finally another father grabbing his pre-teen by the jacket as he walks/drags his son out of the store.

Do you want to improve your family life and discipline methods, even when you face everyday family dangers? Try implementing these two strategies based on how the brain and human biology work.

1. Eat, drink and breathe deeply.

The second worst time of day for any family is in the evening, when everyone transitions and changes from the busy day to the evening time. For most people, children and parents, this happens physiologically when the body is tired, needing more energy through nutrition and oxygen. Too often parents choose this time to do needed chores including grocery shopping. But neither children nor adults have the necessary physiological endurance to handle this seemingly mundane task.

What is the solution? Before you go to the store, eat a snack, sing a song and dance a jig. Are you afraid that you would feel foolish engaging in such foolish and childish behavior? Then drink a cup of herbal tea while your kids drink a glass of milk and you all enjoy some raisins and peanuts. Then do ten jumping jacks or play tag or musical chairs. If this doesn’t sound like it suits your style either, then make your own ritual. Just make sure you include drinking and eating a modest amount of nutritious foods (over indulging in sugar will only contribute to the physiological drag) and engage in a moderate amount of deep breathing. With children, the best way to get them to breathe deeply is by playing an active game for a short time. They will be happy to participate! And if you can just lighten up and play a game, you’ll not only improve your oxygen level, you’ll also inspire a lighter spirit.

Now you and your kids are ready to face the challenge known as grocery shopping.

2. Choose a position open to growth and learning.

What you do and say either puts your child in an open position for learning and growth, or protection. New research into the human cell has revealed that a cell can only be in one of two positions: protection or growth. And because the brain is a system of cooperating cells, the brain is then only in a position of protection or growth.

Have you ever wondered why you have to continually make the same correction for your child’s repeated misbehavior? Are you tired of threatening or punishing your child, only to discover that you have to repeat the same process over and over again? The reason is that you use strategies that protect your child rather than asking your child to grow and learn. Your child perceives your scolding, threat or punishment as something he needs to protect himself from. He is not in the frame of mind to be open to learning and growing. Instead he protects himself from you. This can be shocking to learn. The last thing you want is for your child to feel like she has to protect herself from you! In many parenting situations, when you scold, threaten, or shame your child, you’re not even thinking about anything other than trying to get your child to do what you want her to do. But your senseless behavior is perceived differently by your child. At a cellular level your child believes he needs to be protected. He may fulfill your request, but he has learned nothing. His mind is not in a state to learn, grow and change. His mind simply goes into protection. With this new information perhaps you are less surprised that you have to repeat the same correction, or threat, or punishment, over and over again. Your child’s brain is not in a learning mind.

What is the solution? Stop doing things that your child perceives as threatening. Make a simple request about what you want your child to do instead of trying to get your child to stop doing what you don’t want. “Sit down please.” “Please use your inner voice.” “Take my hand and come with me, please.” Can you see how each of these requests keeps a child in an open position for growth and learning instead of “No standing.” “Stop yelling and screaming.” “No running.” It is also important to use a neutral, calm, friendly voice. How you talk to your child is just as important as what you say. Staying calm, friendly and engaged with your child, even during non-verbal times, keep you both in an open and growing state, instead of having to retreat into a state of protection.

Now you are, your child is ready to face any challenge you encounter at the grocery store and beyond.

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