First Week Of School 2 Year Old Preschool Lessons Plans The Ethics of Birthday Party Invitations

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The Ethics of Birthday Party Invitations

One might think that there is nothing more innocent and free spirited than the act of extending birthday party invitations. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Because within the planning of children’s birthday parties and the offering of invitations is a minefield full of ethical stumbling blocks and pitfalls. Here are three pointers to help you navigate the maze.

Pointer #1: Invitation Sticks

How tempting it is for a child to take a birthday party invitation after friction enters a friendship. “You’re not invited to my birthday party anymore!” is a common schoolyard refrain. However, it is important that your child knows that an invitation, like a gift, cannot be taken back. It is best to wait up to four weeks before the date of the party before making invitations, verbal or written.

It’s the rare child who ignores an upcoming birthday. I once heard 9-year-old Sam’s older sister say, “So, Sam, you’re going to see all your friends this afternoon.”

He looked up. “Why?”

“Today is your birthday party!” she exclaimed, excited.

“Oh,” he said with a shrug. “That’s right.”

Other youngsters begin serious planning for the next birthday party the moment the ribbons are swept off the floor of the current party. In between are children of various inclinations. Here’s your cue: As soon as your child starts verbalizing plans for the next birthday party, say, “Remember, don’t invite anyone until [give a date four weeks before the party or a reference point such as a holiday, beginning/end of school, etc.] You never know who you will still be friends with later. Because once you give an invitation, it sticks.”

Pointer #2: Guest is 100% invited

Layering guests is another common dynamic. Youngsters will freely announce who is “next in line” for their birthday party. However, lining up a waiting list all too clearly shows the waiting children their secondary, lesser rank. Better for your child to understand that if a guest is invited, the guest is one hundred percent invited.

Friends not invited to the party may ask your child, “How could I not be invited to your birthday party?” or even follow up with: “You’ve been invited to mine.” Your child might respond by saying, “I was only allowed to have [#] guests Do you want to come over to my house to play soon?” Then arrange the play date.

In the suburbs, it is not uncommon for children to invite a large number of guests to an afternoon party, and from that group, to invite a smaller number of the “closest” friends to stay for an evening or slumber party. If your child proposes such an arrangement, do not believe for a second that the guests not invited to stay will not find out about the more desirable, later, party. Faster than the speed in which a birthday present is ripped open the word will spread. Those not invited will become immediately and grimly aware of their diminished stature. On more than one occasion, I have picked up my daughter from a birthday party to find her in tears, while next to me other parents similarly comforted their children, also left behind, and knowing the real a party has just begun.

Make sure your child understands that when a guest is invited, the guest is one hundred percent invited.

Tip #3: Distribute invitations conversationally

Completing and sending birthday invitations is an unwelcome task. No wonder parents are tempted to simplify the process by personally handing out birthday invitations at school.

When my younger daughter Hannah was in preschool, I noticed that parents would slip birthday party invitations into the kids’ open cube squares. Although this method did not present a problem when all the children in a class were invited to a party, when some young people were invited and others were not – especially when the invitations were in brightly colored envelopes – it was all too clear for them. not invited that there was no envelope in their cube hole In the preschool years, it is better for parents to deliver the invitations directly to the other parents or caregivers. Or, if that’s not possible due to work schedules, bite the bullet and send them. Better yet, email the invitations if that’s a pleasant alternative.

The tendency to distribute invitations in public places runs through the notes. In the commotion that followed a high school play, I witnessed one pre-teen handing out birthday party invitations to a delighted crowd surrounding her. Looking around, I noticed that other young people were also watching the excitement, and were not so pleased about it.

Let these three pointers guide you to avoid the ethical naivete traps in the world of birthday invitations. It may not be too much of a stretch to say that the genre of children’s birthday invitations represents a microcosm of American ethical practices. Because aren’t such daily interactions of family dynamics the core of our lives?

So tackle those birthday celebrations with vim, vigor and knowledge. According to your guidance, give your child another – more lasting – kind of gift.

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