Fun Things To Do With Your 2 Year Old Son Reactive Attachment Disorder in Adopted Children

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Reactive Attachment Disorder in Adopted Children

If you have adopted children, especially if you didn’t get them when they were born, then there’s a good chance they’re free, at least to some extent. The term for this is Reactive Attachment Disorder, or RAD for short. Having a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder can be a big challenge, and you have to change some of the ways you’ve learned to parent in the past. But it is not hopeless.

There is a woman named Nancy Thomas who created a set of DVDs and a book called “When Love Is Not Enough” and they contain tons of information on how to work with unattached children. Nancy has been a foster parent of RAD children for many years, and the information she gives you is what she has learned through her experience.

How can you tell if your child is disengaged? One way is to see what they are like at different ages. Here are some guidelines – if you see these behaviors in your teen, you know they are out of touch.

  • Ages 1 – 3: Takes what he sees and wants.
  • Ages 3 -5: Does not take what he sees and wants for fear of being killed by mom/dad.
  • Ages 5 – 9: Doesn’t take in what he sees and wants mom/dad might get upset.
  • Ages 9 – 11: Doesn’t take what he sees and wants because he wouldn’t like the way it would make him feel about himself.

For example, if your 12 year old takes what he sees and wants, then he is acting around the age of 2 or 3 years old. Unattached children don’t seem to have a conscience, at least when you start working with them. As they improve they will begin to move up the age scale until they are functional, healthy teenagers and adults. So as you work with your child, referring to this chart you will get an idea of ​​how he or she is doing.

An unattached child wants to feel powerful and in control. It’s an extremely strong drive in them, and it really will never go away. So you have to point them in the right direction, telling them that healthy things make them powerful, like telling the truth. Nancy Thomas has this technique where she has the child hold her arm out to the side and say something that is true and she can’t push her arm down. Then she makes him tell a lie and she can push his arm down. Then she says “See how powerful it makes you if you tell the truth?” It works!

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