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How To Survive Your Return To Work After Maternity Leave

Anyone who has been sick for a week or so knows that returning to work can be stressful. The feelings of the first day back at school for the new school year come flooding back – “What has changed? Will I be teased? What will people say”?

It is therefore not surprising that returning to work after the extended 3, 6 or even 12 months of motherhood is, for many women, traumatic. Not only do you have to face the fear of the unknown, there is the emotional upheaval of leaving your baby, the adjustment to your new role as a mother, the organization required to even leave the house and the worry (“will he be OK without me ?”), the guilt (“am I a terrible mother for leaving her?”). You also have to deal with the process of getting into work mode and adjusting your brain to accommodate both the feed/sleep/shift cycle and the full intellectual challenge of work. The inventory of stress factors could go on, and I’m surprised that this major period of readjustment isn’t among the “top causes of stress” along with divorce and moving.

You’re not alone: ​​Most mums are anxious about going back to work (69% in a recent Coaching Mums survey said they feel anxious). Just knowing that this is a normal reaction that you share with many others can help

Dip your toe in the water… What ways can you think of to reacquaint yourself with work before your first day? Ask your manager or colleague to email you meeting minutes a few weeks in advance or copy you into notes – something that gently increases your awareness of what’s going on.

Visualize yourself walking into work looking confident, smiling and beaming and practice holding this visualization several times a day until you can simply summon the vision and the accompanying confident feelings instantly.

Whatever happens – you will handle it. Remember that you’ve made it through childbirth and the difficult early months of motherhood – you can handle anything!

The Oxygen Mask

When training my clients, to illustrate the importance of taking care of their own needs as a mother, I often use the analogy of the safety briefing on an airplane. You know when you’re taught to put on your own oxygen mask before helping a child? Well, the obvious reason for that is that if you pass out, then you can’t help the child. Remember this analogy before you cry “there’s no time for me”. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your baby. I’ve seen working moms burn out time and time again because they weren’t paying attention to their own needs. You MUST take care of yourself if you want to fulfill all your different roles as a mother, wife, worker, etc. to the best of your ability.

It’s okay to be average. Lower your expectations for a while and accept that good enough is good enough. You’ve had a baby and you’re about to go back to work – those are two big accomplishments without needing to excel at anything else right now. So settle for “OK” now and relax!

Buy a new dress! Accept that you may not fit into your pre-pregnancy work clothes (that’s normal too!) and buy something that fits you and makes you feel attractive and confident. This may seem obvious, but it will make a difference.

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