How Much Sleep Does My 2 Week Old Baby Need 30 Truths About Motherhood

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30 Truths About Motherhood

We talk to 30 moms who’ve been there, done that, and lived to laugh about it!

On Pregnancy

1) There are never enough photos of yourself and your growing belly.

2) Doctors are not gods, what they say is not set in stone. Trust your instincts and follow what you believe is the right path for you and your baby.

3) Your hormones can take you from darling to raging maniac to crying lunatic in ten seconds or less.

4) Your sex drive takes a longer vacation.

5) Being bedridden can really happen to you! So start preparing the nursery as soon as you find out you are pregnant.

6) See a chiropractor for back pain.

7) Get professional abdominal imaging done. In fact, you end up looking at them.

8) Just before giving birth, measure your abdominal circumference

9) Take some pictures looking down at your belly to capture the view you had every day!

10) Start now to learn how to sleep on your side. It will pay off later when you are bigger. Sometimes it helps to use a few extra pillows.

About work

1) Labor doesn’t feel like cramps, not like poop, not like sex, when you’re not lubed up. It’s more like a watermelon trying to force its way out of your body!

2) You fart after the epidural. Many!

3) Bring your own toilet paper with you to the hospital. Our taxes don’t pay for soft toilet paper, and you don’t want to rub yourself with sandpaper after giving birth. Pack two rolls, one before delivery (right after the water breaks) and one after.

4) Take a spare camera battery with you (just in case).

5) Get a doula. Her only concern is you and the baby. She saw a hundred different births, helped a hundred different women with a hundred different pains.

6) You actually have to give birth as if it were another baby!

7) You can poop during labor pushing.

8) When your water breaks, it’s not just one big gush…it’s several gushes.

9) Not only will you be hoo-ha sore after giving birth… EVERYTHING will be sore!

10) How painful it would be to go to the bathroom after giving birth! If it’s unbearable, you should sit on the toilet upside down, facing the wall when you pee (so there’s less pressure down there and you can hold on to the toilet and cry if you need to!)

About life after childbirth

1) Learn breastfeeding positions – certain are better for certain people. The football grip is not a good position for women with small busts.

2) You don’t need so many clothes for newborns… You have to store what you buy!

3) Your first birth is not a predictor of your second birth. If your first birth was difficult, your second could be much easier.

4) Sleep deprivation is a torture method for a reason and you will find out exactly why.

5) Not every toilet has a changing station. Be sure to find out exactly which malls have an infirmary before you go!

6) Men really can sleep through a crying baby.

7) If you think you have enough pads for your postpartum experience, you are wrong. Buy another pack. And more. It’s better to have too many than to bet on your husband bringing home the right ones.

8) I wish someone had told me that men are slower in what a child wants and needs.

9) Little boys need the men’s hood to point down over the nappies or they can pee very easily.

10) Don’t warm the bottles too much, your baby will get used to it and then you’ll have to lug around bottles or find bottle warmers that take forever! The same goes for food!

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