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Guilt and Remorse – Part 2 – The Nature Or Nurture Debate

In Part 1, I wrote about what one man, Jeff Lucas, called a “shame addict” and described the experience as suffering from guilt about everything. Even things we have little or no control over! But when attempts to define the difference between shame and guilt proved to be non-starters, and the experts themselves seemed to have conflicting opinions, I began to wonder if society might benefit from eradicating it from the human psyche.

So today, in an attempt to answer that question, I’m going to ask another one. Where does all this guilt and shame come from? Are we born with it? Is it nature or nurture?

 

OVERCOMING Shame

For several years now, it has been fashionable among some celebrities and secularists to promote a concept that suggests that guilt and shame are forced upon us—by parents, social mores and laws, and religion—and that it is to our detriment. . To hell with guilt and shame, they say, embracing the unfettered expression of their chosen lifestyle. And who can blame them? Perhaps the hell and damnation, fire and brimstone of some faiths and denominations have fostered this belief?

So would life be a better experience for all of us if we eliminated the twin evils, guilty conscience and sense of shame?

 

In fact, this is what Western societies have been trying to do for the past decade or two. Mitigation – where background circumstances were used to argue for sympathy for the perpetrators of the crime – sometimes gave rise to the absurd notion that they were the victims. It is not unnatural that the actual victims felt somewhat affected.

In addition, as the excellent UK Channel 4 program Dispatches British demanding children It turned out that raising children without a moral compass is not only harmful to others, but also to the child himself. I cried when I saw that little boys in elementary school had to be restrained—for their own good—because their upbringing offered them nothing sane or sane.

 

On the contrary! It was clear that persuasion had no effect on them at all when it came to offering incentives to return to the classroom. For the most part, these children have only learned the reality of an ear tape, a grunt, or a barrage of abuse. What do they know about collaboration? From the community? From communication? Yet, surprisingly, even though they completely lacked the skills or self-discipline needed to moderate their bad behavior, some of them showed a moral awareness of its effects. They knew what it was to feel shame.

So – is it nature or nurture? I’m inclined to believe that even though children are born shameless when it comes to their nudity, bodily functions, or demandingness, a certain morality is hard-wired into the human psyche. The Bible certainly teaches that it is. It is said that God’s laws are written in our hearts. Whether you believe the nature argument or not, there is evidence to suggest that we are undergoing a change of heart on matters of discipline. As the Dispatch program showed, morality and the shame and guilt associated with it oil the wheels of society – in schools, at home and in the community. In addition, it brings peace, comfort, fulfillment and education to the child who is taught it.

Where does that leave people like me and Jeff Lucas when it comes to being “shame addicts”? He correctly defines an addict as “someone who thinks a certain way all the time, daily, hourly. Their mind is consumed by this substance or activity. Their behavior is controlled.” I previously questioned whether guilt and regret can be seen as “good” or “bad” and concluded above that it is good in context. But at this level of addictive thinking, it’s clearly wrong.

 

And I’m happy to say that apart from the odd occasion when I’m tired – like after Christmas – it’s no longer a factor in my life. Because Christian teaching should never be focused on the negative aspects of humanity, but on the divine aspects of God who loves, who is merciful and who above all forgives. If you want to know more, you could do worse than visit Jeff Lucas online. His website is: http://www.jefflucas.org/archive/200811

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