How Old Was Troy Bolton In High School Musical 2 The Four Pillars of Parenting – The Foundation of All Great Parents

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The Four Pillars of Parenting – The Foundation of All Great Parents

Four What?

So you’re probably wondering what I mean by columns. A pillar is an important part of a structure – or in our case a person – that provides support and stability. Missing or weak pillars will make you unstable and eventually lead to collapse.

There are pillars in every area of ​​life that will help you succeed if you commit to them and work hard to strengthen and balance each one.

Let me give some examples:

Think back to when you were in school. What have the best students always had in common? They mostly sat in the front row of class, spent hours in the library after school, and studied for tests the week before.

They weren’t just trying to “pass”. Instead, they chose to be the best student they could be, were always the hardest workers and never took the easy way out.

What about the pillars of sport? You have to practice and become extremely skilled physically, emotionally and mentally. If an athlete has great physical skills but withers under pressure, they will never be great at their sport.

Why are Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan so good? It’s not just about their physical talents. Instead, it’s how they cope mentally and emotionally in difficult situations. They trained themselves for years, determined to be the best athlete they could be, always working their hardest and never taking the easy way out.

Pillars of weight loss? Anyone who has tried a special diet knows that it won’t work long term – as all those “diet and fitness experts” want you to believe. If you want to lose weight permanently, you need to eat right, do cardiovascular exercises and strength training.

Missing any of these will cause you to fail. You can exercise 8 hours a day, but if you eat more calories than you burn, you won’t lose weight. So you have to decide once and for all to get and stay healthy, work hard and never take the easy way out.

Are you starting to see a pattern here? To be great at anything, you must:

o Decide that you want to be great

o Commit to putting time and effort into it

o Never cut corners or look for the easy way out

What does this have to do with parenting?

Parenting takes just as much work as anything else—and sometimes more. You have to work as hard as the best golfer or the smartest student. You can’t expect it to be easy. You must constantly learn and spend time strengthening and balancing the Four Pillars of Parenting. Only then will you understand what great parenting really is.

So did I hit the ground running enough? Did I make it clear that being great takes time and effort? Won’t it be easy?

Let me explain each of the four pillars so you know exactly what you need to do. All of these are equally important and you will realize your potential only when you achieve balance in all four areas, as leaning too much on one of them will cause collapse.

Pillar 1: Prevent the pattern

Also known as your “family of origin,” this pillar includes your family history, the family traditions you want to keep (or those you don’t want), and most importantly, how your parents raised you.

In every aspect of life, you can only do the things you know. You can’t be expected to do something you’ve never learned, and that can be very dangerous if you had negative parents, didn’t love you, or abandoned you. If most of what you were taught was negative, most of what you teach your children will also be negative—unless you make a change.

But don’t be too hard on your parents because chances are their parents treated them the same way, their parents’ parents and so on. This is a negative parenting pattern that you must prevent from continuing. You don’t want your children to have the same negative experiences you did.

Divorce, alcoholism, and various types of abuse are extreme examples of negative patterns that are passed down from generation to generation. Yours doesn’t have to be so extreme. Instead, it may have been a lack of compassion, affection or love. It could be that your parents always expected too much from you and nothing you ever did was good enough. Whatever it is—whether it’s hurtful or negative—it needs to stop.

Most of the family problems I deal with on a daily basis are not children problems. Instead, parents have unmet needs from their past that they project onto their children either consciously (they know they’re doing it) or unconsciously (they don’t realize they’re doing it). So how your parents raised you is something you need to address because once you come to terms with your past, you will be able to be emotionally available to your children.

Most parents I’ve met skip it entirely. Why? Because these can be difficult and sometimes very painful problems. If your parents hurt you physically or emotionally, if they divorced when you were young, or if you have different beliefs than they did, it can be very difficult for you to go back and face it. This is normal, but it can also be very dangerous. So you must learn to accept your past and stop negative parenting patterns before they harm your children.

Pillar 2: Conquer the culture

Times keep changing fast and you need to understand what you are facing as a parent. There are more distractions, temptations, and influences now than there were when you were a child, and you need to be aware of them.

Here are some simple questions for you about the culture your children live in right now to see how “in-the-know” you really are. (The answers can be found at the bottom of this section.)

1. Who is a normal teenager by day and a pop star by night?

2. What do you do when someone “nudges” you?

3. Who is Troy Bolton?

4. Who is Tom? And are you friends with him?

So how did you do? Did you get all or most of them right? Hopefully so, because these are questions you should be able to answer if your children are old enough to go to school, have access to a television or a computer. Because I guarantee you that even if you don’t know these answers – you do.

Children have so many influences in today’s culture. Sex, drugs, and violence are everywhere—on the Internet, on TV, in movies, and in video games—and they all have an incredible influence on young minds.

Do you allow your children to use the Internet unsupervised? When should they be allowed to start watching movies rated PG-13 or R? Which TV channels are ok and which ones should be watched or banned? These are a few issues that you need to address.

There will always be a new influence – so you have to keep up with the culture to stay prepared.

Answers:

1. Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana 2. You are on Facebook. (What is Facebook? You need more help than I thought.) 3. He’s the star of Disney’s High School Musical. 4. Tom is one of the founders of Myspace.com and currently has 225,916,857 online friends – yes, that’s over 225 million people and counting.

Pillar 3: Learn the tools

That’s what you’re always looking for – something you can use to solve your parenting problems. These tools are important and you need to learn as many of them as possible to be prepared for any situation you may face. But more importantly, you need to learn WHEN and HOW to use these tools properly, because good parenting tools are worthless if used incorrectly.

For example, different actions work in different situations. Timeouts may work for a particular child in a particular situation, but not for other children or situations. Taking away privileges may be great for one child, but not for another. And how long do you take them? one day? Week? All of these actions have been shown to work if used correctly.

So you need to learn WHEN to use WHAT to get the best response from your child. You need a whole bag of parenting tricks. You can’t just be a one trick pony parent. Sometimes you need to know whether to trick or treat your kids. Too much? Yeah, I thought so, but you get my point.

These tools should center around three key areas: empowerment, discipline and punishment. (Discipline and punishment are NOT the same thing)

Empowerment: Tools to raise children to take care of themselves—physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, sexually, economically, socially, and any other word ending in —ally.

Discipline: Tools to Reinforce Good Behavior, Stop Bad Behavior, and Teach Your Child How to Be Honest and Respectful.

Punishment: This is part of discipline, but it is an area that can be extremely confusing. Thus, more details about effective punishment techniques used to stop misbehavior are essential. Pay attention to the word “effective” because many of the punishments you can use can be ineffective and even reinforce bad behavior.

Pillar 4: Cultivate character

You have a duty to your children and society in general to raise children with good character and values. It is your duty to raise them to be positive, happy and caring. The world is full of so much anger, hate and negativity right now that it will be hard, but you have to do it. Because, cliche as it may sound, we have to make the world a better place – one generation at a time.

So how to do it? You must set a good example and teach your children how to act properly. Some examples:

o Teach your boys how to respect girls.

o Teach your girls to value their bodies.

o Volunteer time and money to the less fortunate.

o To grow spiritually or religiously.

Creating a character child is now more important than ever. But the good news is that if you lead, they will follow.

Why aren’t you a great parent?

“I’d be better, but I just don’t have the time.

“I would learn everything, but I don’t have the money to buy all those books.

“I would try harder, but my kids don’t listen to me anyway.

You can make up any excuse you want, but the only reason you’re not the parent you’ve always dreamed of is this:

You chose not to be.

It’s so simple. It doesn’t matter what the people around you are doing or the situation you’re in – you can be a great parent if you want to. It’s entirely up to you.

You must commit to building and balancing the four pillars of parenting in order to grow as a parent. Don’t keep looking for new “revolutionary” ideas, because without solid support around you, a “wonderful” new tool or technique will never succeed in the long run.

They may not be as imaginative or interesting as some of the ideas out there, but they work. As a parent, you should never feel “lost”. You should always have the option and these pillars give you that.

So are you ready?

It’s time for you to make a change—a real, lasting change in your parenting. You need to decide right now to never look for the easy way out and dedicate yourself to working hard, learning and perfecting the Four Pillars of Parenting.

You have to be 100% committed because it will take time and effort. It won’t be easy – but nothing worth it ever is. This is not a quick fix to your problems, but it is the only way to achieve lasting change.

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