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Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online
Here are the top ten things to avoid when contacting women online. This will be the most important online dating and relationship advice you read all year.
Mistake #1: Sending her “just” winks
Most online dating sites allow you to send “winks” or “expressions of interest” for free. But what does that tell her about you? When the really hot girl blinks, she sees a guy who isn’t serious about contacting her and is too cheap to top the $20 membership fee.
What a great way to start a relationship… No!
He also knows that a wink is an easy “cop”. Anyone can browse through hundreds of online profiles and catch a glimpse of everything that moves. So from her perspective, why should she spend time on you when dozens of guys take the time to send her real messages every day?
Mistake #2: You don’t have an up-to-date, QUALITY photo on your profile
This should be easy, but the fact is, most men don’t upload their photo. The statistics on this are very clear. Profiles with photos are 10 times more visible than those without; and profiles with QUALITY photos are seen 4 times more than profiles with poor quality photos.
Let me ask you… When you sign up for a dating site and search, don’t you first look for women with profile pictures? Why would she be different? Many women will assume you have something to hide if you don’t post a picture of yourself – like your wife…
If you don’t like your photo, get it professionally done. There are many professional photography services out there that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile.
If you want to stand a chance against the other guys out there, upload a quality photo. Oh, one more extremely important note – make sure you upload a RECENT photo. There is nothing more disappointing than meeting someone and realizing that the picture they sent you was 20 years and 40 pounds ago!
Mistake #3: Sending a message with a boring subject line Fact #1: On most online dating sites, guys outnumber girls by at least two to one, and that’s a conservative number.
Fact #2: Good looking girls get dozens of winks and messages on any given day.
You can have the most amazing profile and you can send her the most interesting message, but she may never see it because you failed to capture her interest with the subject of your email.
Give her a reason to open your message first! It has to stand out among all the others or it has a good chance of being deleted and never read. Spend just as much time creating an interesting subject line as you do writing the rest of the message. Ask her something or specifically link to some detail in her profile to let her know you actually read it and you’re really interested in more than just her looks. Mistake #4: Sending her a vague, generic, or otherwise lame message
You’ve made the effort to become a paying member of a dating site and want to get the most out of your membership. But then you came up with a standard standard message and quickly copied and pasted it to dozens of girls. You go! At least you think so…
Ok, reality check. Women like to feel special and important. He can smell the crippling message form from a mile away, and the delete button is always close at hand. So why not take a different approach? Actually read her entire profile (we know it’s painful, but do it anyway!), find out everything you can about her, and then send her an insightful, personal message.
Remember that you are messaging her and she needs to feel like she is the only girl in the whole world who cares about you. Keep your messages relatively short and to the point. Compliment or link to a thing or things that caught your eye in her profile. Then end each message with a “clear call to action.” Always be friendly and polite, but tell her what you would like her to do next. Don’t let her wonder. Examples are “talk soon” or “drop me a line”.
Mistake #5: Taking too long to reply to her message
With all the buzz around the seduction and “pick up artist” community these days, many guys are afraid to scare women off by looking too eager or desperate. So they get her message and then wait… and wait… and wonder when it’s “okay” to reply to her.
Let’s get this straight. Being quick to respond is not a bad thing. It will probably help you stand out from the other dozen guys who messaged her today. Like most opportunities in life, it is much better to strike while the iron is hot. Get over it and message her. In fact, do it while she’s still logged in. Forget the “head games” and be yourself. Women are attracted to confident men who are comfortable in their own skin. Be yourself and you’ll be fine! Mistake #6: Asking for her personal information too soon
So you messaged this really cool looking girl and she responded with a basic “Hi”. What now? You want her real email address, her phone number, her work number or better yet her address so you can go there now, right?
Stop! Asking her for ANY personal information in your first messages is a quick way to kill a relationship before it starts. Imagine two dogs approaching each other… what are they doing? They approach slowly and cautiously and sniff each other. why do they do that? I am getting to know. People are the same in many ways.
Don’t scare her. Take it slow and let her get to know you before asking for personal information. Mistake #7: Sexual innuendo in your first message
Yes she is really hot and yes her profile seems flirty and sexual… So you think it’s ok to be overtly sexual when trying to contact her, WRONG! Unless you’re on AdultFriendFinder.com or another adult site, sexual innuendo probably won’t help you. They will most likely torpedo any chances you had with her. So don’t do it. Mistake #8: Sending her money or a credit card number
Yes, the ever popular Nigerian (or whatever country is on it this month) money scam. Social networks, including online dating sites, are plagued by fraudsters. And guys you know fall for it every day…
Remember, the whole “if it sounds too good to be true” idea still applies! If your online profile is really bad and suddenly a girl who looks strangely like a supermodel emails you and promises to make all your dreams come true, take it easy. And DO NOT send money or other financial information for her to come to you. Mistake #9: Viewing her “really hot” nude photos on her personal page
The still popular “cam girl” phenomenon surprises dozens of new men every day. So, what is a “cam girl?” Well, let’s say you’re browsing profiles and come across this great looking girl. He looks friendly, approachable and wears very suggestive clothes. To make it better, her profile has a link to her “private website” where you can “see more of her”.
What a luck! So you click on that link and to your surprise you have to “verify your age by providing a credit card number”. Hmm. If you want to browse an adult site, go ahead and enjoy. But realize what it is – often a teenage high schooler pretends to be a really hot girl in order to make money by sending lucky surfers (read you) to an adult pay-per-view site. Mistake #10: You don’t know what you really want
The last mistake is actually by far the most important… Simply put, most guys take a shotgun approach to dating and hope to hit something, anything. Then they wonder why they are not satisfied with the women they meet. Not exactly the best approach to the most important aspect of your life, is it?
Before you join ANY online dating site, take a step back and figure out exactly what you’re looking for… What type of woman would you really like to meet today? So you don’t waste time texting a really cool looking “single mom” when you know damn well you don’t want kids. If you’re an outdoorsman, you probably don’t want to spend your time messaging a woman who tells you in her profile that she’s allergic to the sun. (Yet another reason to actually read her profile.)
It will be worth your time to understand what you are really looking for!
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