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How To Tame Your Toddler’s Bossy Behavior

Adults have a natural sense of self-awareness that keeps our behavior in check most of the time, but young children have not yet developed this social skill and will usually end up exhibiting unfavorable behavior as a result.

It’s not uncommon for even the most well-behaved 3-year-olds to display bossy tendencies, leaving some parents perplexed and irritated.

Bossiness in a young child can also be caused by the sense of authority it can give them in a world where adults have all the control. They won’t do it consciously, but it’s a behavioral instinct they’re guided by and it eventually does, making them feel like they’re taking some of that power back. This does not mean that we, as parents, cannot control this.

How to control bossy behavior in your children

imitation

Children have a lot "monkey sees, monkey does" attitude to life, so the first thing you can do to alter their behavior is to change yours first. This could mean getting your own boss back a little. So when you’re around your kids, try to use the kind of behavior you want them to emulate. Even if you’re not talking to them, they’ll still pick up on the way you act and ask people to do something.

Even when it is in YOUR nature to be like this, try to be aware of it and when your children are around try to rework your own behavior so that your children see a more polite side of you.

Social Skills

Another simple idea, but one that is often difficult to implement, is to teach them good social skills. Teach them to share from an early age. If they start being selfish or bossy with people, try asking them how they would feel if someone did the same to them. That they think about how their behavior affects other people is a key milestone in their growth.

Give Control

The boss is a form of control, so when your child senses he doesn’t have it, he’ll make an effort and take over. But suppose you granted them any control? When you ask your child if they like potatoes or peas with their fishcakes, or if they want to watch a cartoon or play with their Transformers for a while, you’re putting some control in their hands.

The secret to using this approach is to ask closed questions, so instead of "what do you want to do today"ask "Would you like to go to the park or watch some cartoons today?". This gives them a sense of control and they will believe they had a say in the outcome of their day. .

attention

Often, a child’s bossy or obnoxious behavior is nothing more than a plea for attention, so take an honest look at how much you give them every day. Take an honest look at whether you’re enjoying enough time playing and talking with them before yelling at them for pulling your arm to go play in the yard when the only thing you choose to do is stay and drink beer with your friends.

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