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As someone who was a gifted child, I can definitely write what it’s like to be different from others. I graduated from High School – with what was called an Academic Diploma – and entered university – at the age of fifteen -.
It definitely didn’t belong there. The only reason I was able to get through high school at that age was because I have an older sister. His friends accepted me. Otherwise, I had very few friends in my own grade. I was two or three years younger than either of them. It didn’t hurt that I was considered very pretty. Otherwise he would be an outsider, a geek without friends, with whom to “talk”, or with whom to socialize. I would probably become a high school dropout.
Because I was psychic (an unknown term then) people were also a little afraid of me. I could read his thoughts and emotions. Now she combined it all, a psychic who read thoughts and emotions, a very intelligent person and someone who was years younger than her classmates.
Why am I writing all this? Because more and more children are born with these abilities and unless parents and teachers understand what these children feel and are going through, we will have more suicides and more school shootings. These children need to be understood and helped to understand why they are different and why they have gifts. Yes, these abilities are gifts and many believe they are curses. Every child wants to be accepted. It is the nature of the species: to be accepted into a social community.
Every teenager, whether gifted or not, feels different and inferior in some way to everyone else. Let the reader remember his own teenage years. Let the reader remember how he felt different and not accepted by others. Very very few teenagers are in the “popular” group. Even those who consider themselves popular have their own insecurities. I see this in my granddaughter. She is beautiful, and I don’t mean that like her grandmother. She is popular, but still feels insecure. She doesn’t know if people like her for herself or her looks. She is also very sensitive. If someone says something negative to her, she cries and wonders why that person doesn’t like her.
Gifted children have friends in their own age group. Once they get up to speed, these friends are left behind and must find new ones. It is not easy. The more they accelerate to higher grades, the harder it is to find friends. Boys have it harder than girls, although girls don’t have it easy.
I was lucky in the respect of having good teachers. My teachers cared about their students, all of them. Now, things are a little different. Teachers are afraid of their students. I’m thinking of one particular teacher and I sincerely hope he’s the exception.
This teacher feels that some children are born evil. He also believes that any child who commits a crime should go to jail. If the crime is committed when this child is nine years old or older, this child must go to adult prison. Yes, he advocates sending a nine-year-old boy to adult prison. Now imagine if this teacher had a gifted student in her class. The gifted student will automatically be marked as different from the rest of the class. Could you help this student find something of interest or would you automatically consider this student a troublemaker and label him as – belongs in jail?
Because a child is gifted, the parent often pushes this child to accelerate more. The parent expects the child to reach its potential. Sometimes the father pushes the child too much. Every child needs some breathing room and expecting a gifted child to get straight A’s is putting too much pressure on that child.
A gifted child will not automatically understand all subjects. It also depends on how the child is taught. My IQ was tested and it was 168. That’s pretty high. An IQ simply means how that person grasps concepts. I couldn’t grasp the concept behind chemistry even though I did very well in math.
The only reason I mention this is because we all have different subjects in which we accelerate. Do not expect a gifted child to be able to accelerate in every subject that is taught. I know of a mother who told her girls that math was too hard for girls to understand. He also told his children that the moon was a planet, but that makes no sense. Because she kept saying that math was too hard for girls, her highly intelligent girls had trouble understanding math. The tutors did not help them. Until they realized that their problem came from what their mother had basically drilled into them from early childhood, they had trouble with math. Once they realized where the problem was coming from, they started to accelerate into it.
Once a child is told they can’t understand something, they automatically won’t understand it. Once a child is pushed too hard to accelerate, he (or she) will automatically fail. Once a child, any child, is neglected or ignored by a parent, that child will rebel against everything and everyone. Once gifted children are excluded, that insecurity will follow them throughout their lives.
Accept our children for who they are. If they excel at something – great. If they don’t, look for the reason behind this failure. Children are not born stupid. They just know less than adults because adults have been around a lot longer and have learned more. Every child is precious. Every child has a remarkable ability in something. Help that boy find it. Encourage – not discourage – each child to reach their true potential.
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