My 1 1 2 Year Old Is Out Of Control Book Review – Lift – Becoming a Positive Force in Any Situation

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Book Review – Lift – Becoming a Positive Force in Any Situation

Book: Elevator: Becoming a Positive Force in Any Situation

By Ryan W. Quinn and Robert E. Quinn

Published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers 2009

254 pages

After reading Robert E. Quinn’s book, Change the World: How Ordinary People Can Achieve Extraordinary Results, I thought to myself, “This man wants us all to become saints!” Why? Because Change the World outlines eight “seed principles” that, if taken to heart and acted upon naturally, lead to compassionate action on behalf of others.

Robert Quinn’s new book, Lift: Becoming a Positive Force in Any Situation, which he co-authored with his son Ryan Quinn, an assistant professor at the University of Virginia’s Darden School of Business, delves into that journey to “holiness.” Lift reports a way to immediately become positive change agents in any situation we find ourselves by asking ourselves four basic questions: 1) What outcome do I want to create? 2) What would my story be if I lived the values ​​I expect from others? 3) How do others feel about this situation? 4) What are three (or four or five) strategies I could use to achieve my purpose for this situation?

Robert Quinn, who holds the Margaret Tracy University Chair at the University of Michigan and is a professor of management and organization at the Ross School of Business, is the author of sixteen books. Considered an innovative thinker and an authority on positive change processes, he developed ACT-Advanced Change Theory, which the Parent Coaching Institute uses as an integral part of our successful parent coaching model. The four questions discussed and promoted in Lift provide a critical focus for applying ACT more deeply in daily activities when the business of life often interferes with our good intentions to be kind, thoughtful, or proactive.

How do people change and how do they do so in a profound and sustainable way to catalyze transformative social change? it’s a question that captures our human desire to make a positive difference. Robert Quinn’s books can be counted on to effectively address and answer this question. Now at Lift, with their son Ryan, the two provide a practical framework to keep that longing alive and fulfilled. Elevation is defined as a “psychological state in which a person is purpose-centered, internally directed, focused on others, and externally open.” This dynamic internal state keeps us “lifted up” making us reliable lifters of others. And soon, as the authors demonstrate, our sphere of influence is infused with positivity and possibilities; we naturally become role models for others as we enthusiastically undertake the self-discipline necessary to control and adjust our psychological states. “As within, so without,” has never rang truer as I pour out the wisdom in this book.

The book begins with an informative overview of positive affect and psychological state. As the founder and CEO of The Parent Coaching Institute who has worked with parents for over 30 years, I was struck by one of the stories in Ryan’s first chapter where he explains using the four questions with his 6-year-old son, Mason. When we are dealing with a child who is having behavioral problems, such as Mason’s seemingly illogical tantrums, it is perfectly natural and normal for parents to be out of this psychological state of grace. Indeed, it is only a human impulse to coerce, impose and strive for control as the situation spirals out of control. Father and son become more closed, demanding and often angry. It’s a mess. We’ve all been there as parents. Finding our way out can affect our relationship with our child because most of the time the advice to parents is to “take charge”; or “speak firm and stand your ground,” further closing our children in… What parenting advice would you give us: “Walk a mile in your child’s shoes?”

The power to uplift is to focus deeply on how the other is experiencing the situation while remaining focused on our own purpose and integrity. As Ryan explains how he struggled to truly understand his son, he gained an intuitive insight that resulted in a blessed moment between father and son, deepening understanding and respect for both. Throughout his story about Mason, Ryan shares how using the four questions brought him more in touch with his intuition and personal agency. It’s a moving story and really shows how the elevator can make a positive difference not only in the immediate, but also for the future.

I won’t spoil the story for you by telling everything. You have to read it. Beyond sweetness lies the enormous power of surrendering and allowing authentic connection to occur. At PCI, we strive to help parents connect authentically and find successful strategies built into the principles of Grateful Inquiry and Living System. The authors add an important layer here. Yes, while tried and true prescriptive parenting formulas can often work to solve the immediate problem, it’s hard to translate an allocation strategy (rather than an action strategy) like the one found in Lift into practical application for parents. Well, two business professors did just that. Parent educators and parent coaches should take note. Against the backdrop of the book’s four central questions, a practical framework, questions and strategies can be developed to bring out the best in others, in any situation, even grumpy six-year-olds accustomed to regular tantrums.

Chapter two introduces science, history and the elevator metaphor. It is here that the reader finds an understandable graphic that illustrates a framework of competitive values, often used for organizational effectiveness. It consists of understanding the interaction of collaboration, control, creativity and competitiveness. For example, the value of collaboration often competes with control. Control is sometimes necessary to move forward, to make decisions, but collaboration is a powerful approach for productive teams. And while market competitiveness is essential, it often limits the creativity of individuals within the organization to compete effectively. Bob and Ryan Quinn use this framework to move from profound change to the psychological state of elevation by juxtaposing the four central questions with each of the four competing values. Control allows a person to be directed internally, examining their integrity. Collaboration keeps us focused on others, to see others as people with legitimate needs, feelings, and desires. Creativity allows us to remain open to the outside world. And competitiveness allows us to maintain our purpose, which is typically used to create extraordinary results. This chapter is very helpful in understanding the interplay between and among the four questions, demonstrating the dynamic energy inherent in their execution.

Chapter 3 provides an overview of ways to move from problem solving to what the authors call “purpose finding.” This is a very inspiring way of looking at challenges and fits very well with the concept that our challenges, while always there, do not have to drag us into despair or alienation. The chapter sets the stage for the next eight chapters, the core of the book.

These chapters are paired around the four basic questions. For example, Chapter 4 explains how to become more purpose-focused, while Chapter 5 looks at ways to become less purpose-focused. Combined, the two chapters provide a wealth of information to keep us on track and answer question 1): What results do I want to create?

The next two chapters focus on directing ourselves more internally and supporting our lives with the values ​​we expect from others. Chapters 8 and 9 examine how we can truly understand how others feel about a situation we would like to see changed. An important component of focusing on others according to the Quinns is not being afraid of others’ comments. This is a common human obstacle to positive change, and the authors normalize our fear of feedback, allowing us to use our fear for deep curiosity about ourselves and others rather than through anxious judgments that don’t really effect change. deep

Chapters 10 and 11 help us think about becoming more open to the outside world. Chapter 11 contains a table summarizing the characteristics of the elevator. This chart is an easy reference tool for the important components and qualities that will keep us purpose-centered, internally directed, other-focused, and externally open. With a glance at the table, readers recognize effective strategies for staying in these states as opposed to “comfort-focused, externally directed, self-centered, and internally closed” states. Those are the easiest to fall back on, especially when we’re faced with our kids’ tantrums or too many bills to pay or other common everyday stresses.

Despite all the challenges, Robert and Ryan Quinn call us to be more, more fully present, more deeply engaged, more reflective. They urge to move from “comfort seekers” to “opportunity creators”; from spectators to fully engaged participants. While this is not exactly holiness, it is still hard work, worth every laborious minute, not for our reward in Heaven, but for those daily rewards like when our children melt into our arms after a crisis and they show us that they know who we are. who know that we love them without measure, and everything is fine. Pure Heaven! And Lift brings us many more such moments. Count on that!

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