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10 Proven Actions to Overcome Self-Doubt and Achieve Success
“I believe and you can achieve it.” We’ve all heard it, seen it in others, but why is it so hard to believe in ourselves?
I remember a scene in the movie “Pretty Woman” where Julia Roberts replies to Richard Gere “The bad guy is easier to believe. Have you noticed that?” Her response struck a chord with me and even today I struggle to find my self-esteem.
Why is this true, and more importantly, what can we do about it?
In her fascinating TED TALK, “Getting stuck in the negatives,” Alison Ledgerwood demonstrates her results from a series of experiments that prove what we already instinctively knew. It’s easier to believe negative things.
That is not the end of the story. She further explains, it takes work to think more positively and it is possible to train yourself to be more positive and build your self-esteem.
Here are my 10 proven actions that have helped me through some bad times into the most positive and productive periods of my life.
1. Every time you have a bad day. Ask yourself “What was good today?” You always get out of life what you focus on the most. If your focus is negative, you’ll get more of what you don’t want, but if you break the pattern with a single question and make an effort to focus on what you do want, you’re more likely to get it.
2. Set small achievable goals for you, but make sure you complete them! Inch by inch you will begin to feel that you are more capable with each achievement.
3. Set out to improve every aspect of your life by just 1%. think about it 1% improvement in every area of your life, every day, increases your motivation, your drive and your achievements which automatically helps you believe in yourself.
4. Take your time. When you get stuck. STOP! Break the routine! Walk the dog! Go dance! Out with friends! Candle. Whatever you love to do, relax and put a smile on your face. For me it is to saddle my horses and hit the road! I learned a valuable lesson from a wonderful boss I had many years ago. He used to laugh at me when I stubbornly stayed up all night trying to solve a problem at work. He always told me to stop, go home and get a good night’s sleep. Inevitably the next morning, I would find the solution within the first 5 minutes of starting work. Solving a problem quickly gives you more confidence in yourself and is certainly better than struggling when you’re tired and telling yourself what a “waste of space” you are.
5. Eat that frog! Mark Twain once wrote “Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day” Brian Tracey used the quote as the title of his book to combat procrastination. The idea is, when you look at your to-do list, what is the one task you least want to do? Do it first and get it out of the way, then you’ll feel more relaxed. Your productivity will soar for the rest of the day, as will your self-esteem.
6. Tell your inner self to “SHUT UP!” In his entertaining motivational talks, Les Brown hilariously explains that you would never treat others the way we treat ourselves. When that little voice starts nagging you about how useless you are. Tell him to shut up! It’s not what’s going on around you that’s stopping you from achieving your goals. They are just obstacles that you can get over, under or around. It is our self-destructive inner voice playing with our emotions that holds us back. Give yourself a break.
7. Help other people. There are very few things in life that give you such an instant boost of self-esteem than helping someone else. I thrive on helping others, especially when I’m feeling down, it’s an instant change to the slippery slope of depression.
8. Recognize your skills. List all the skills you excel at. I can’t think of anything. Ask your friends and family. What is it about you that everyone likes and admires? If your life is just a never-ending list of mistakes, then maybe yours is worth the doll of life. Half the battle in life is avoiding pitfalls, and if you can help others in that regard, your contribution is invaluable.
9. Face your Fear. My favorite quote on this topic is from Oprah Winfrey “What you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth will truly set you free” In my opinion and through personal experience, facing the your fear upside down will only make you stronger. Last year was the hardest of my life. My beautiful 4 year old. old son was diagnosed with a rare and very aggressive form of leukemia. BUT despite the pain, the despair, the fears of losing him and the loneliness of being separated from my other son and my family. He took me every morning to sit by his bedside from early morning until midnight. It was hard, really hard, but he is now on the road to recovery and we both came out of the experience much stronger and less afraid than before. Don’t let fear hold you back. You have a lot to offer the world.
10. Do something you believe in. A sense of purpose is one of the most powerful ways to feel fulfilled. when you know why you are doing something Drive and motivation just flow effortlessly.
The most important message I want you to learn is to keep moving forward. “When you rest you rust” No matter what happens in life, don’t give up. Let go of the past, stop fighting it. It’s like banging your head against a brick wall, only you get hurt. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Forgive those who hurt you. Maybe you should thank them because they made you more aware and stronger.
Download the “Pity Potty”. Dust off your dreams and start living your life. Don’t let anything or anyone stop you. It won’t be easy; if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Success will be even sweeter, after working hard and overcoming all obstacles.
The horror of my son’s Leukemia pushed me out of my “I’m not worthy” mentality. I have since started a new online business, which allows me precious time to spend with my children and animals, financial freedom to buy a new home, and help other people realize their dreams.
What is your dream?
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