My 2 Year Old Has Red Spots On Her Tongue Is the Noah’s Ark Syndrome Obsolete?

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Is the Noah’s Ark Syndrome Obsolete?

In the old days, before the feminist movement, before women competed with men for high-level careers, before women wanted more for themselves than to be an arm ornament and housekeeper for their husbands, we lived in an Ark mentality of Noah We live in a twin society. You were nobody if you were never married, and even less nobody if you didn’t have at least one child born of that marriage.

I groan when I think of the role women played in those days. They were told that they had to look pretty for their husband, but not to worry his little head with important decisions. One of the old jokes told crudely during the Cold War is the one where the husband asks his wife, “What do you think of Red China?” and she replies, “I think it would go well with gray or white plates.”

Women were told that they would not be able to understand the mechanics of politics, so they should vote as their husbands did and not try to understand how things worked in Washington. And of course there were no women in elected office in Washington.

They were told that their purpose in life was to marry and procreate and God help those who couldn’t find someone to marry them and, even worse, those who didn’t want or couldn’t have children. They were the ones to be pitied and gossiped about.

In those days, and for many decades afterward, women did not go to restaurants alone, and if they did, they sat in the back, near the kitchen. It was unheard of for a woman to want to sit alone at a table and have dinner that she ordered for herself without a man ordering for her.

No matter a woman’s age, her social status was tied to her husband. She didn’t aspire to go to medical school; instead, she aspired to be Mrs. Doctor. She did not dream of being a lawyer and arguing cases before the Supreme Court. Instead, she dreamed of being a lawyer. In those days there were very few women doctors and lawyers and those who were in those fields were considered rare.

Women, if they loved the field of medicine, trained to be nurses or technicians, and if they were attracted to the law, they trained to be legal secretaries. They usually didn’t see themselves going to school and qualifying for those careers; they were always the appendages of men who had their medical degrees or their Juris Doctor degrees.

Society has definitely gone through a metamorphosis. Women still do not dominate the workforce, nor do they receive equal pay for equal work, regardless of the new laws. They are still unable to break through the glass ceiling in many places of business and remain subject to the good-guy network and attitudes that make it nearly impossible to break through in many fields.

But above all, what has gone through the most social changes in America is the attitude that women have towards marriage today.

I remember when Jackie Kennedy made the comment: “The first time you marry for love, the second for money and the third for companionship.” It was a novel designed for women who did not think that marriage could be divided into those categories and who did not plan beyond their first marriage.

European marriages have always had more options than American marriages. Even in the good old days when American women were filled with anguish at the thought of having a child out of wedlock, European women often lived with their lover and had children with him without the benefit of marriage. In today’s society, Americans are catching up with their European counterparts and living with and having children with a Significant Other without suffering the stigma of having illegitimate offspring.

But I think the biggest change has come in the attitude of so many women who don’t want the restrictions of marriage because they want to pursue fulfilling careers and aren’t ready to start a family. Many of them choose not to have children altogether; they want the same freedoms that men have always taken for granted.

It is interesting that so many women would rather live with a lover than marry him, especially if that woman is divorced. If she has a good career, money in the bank and a house, she doesn’t feel the need to get married so that a man will “take care” of her. She prefers her independence and wants to be free to come and go without asking permission or seeking consent.

The older a divorced woman is and the longer she has spent as a single woman, the less inclined she is to get back into the dating game or remarry. You may prefer to live with a man, have separate bank accounts and manage your own investment portfolio. You may want to pursue your own interests rather than your lover’s.

Times are definitely changing. The Noah’s Ark mentality is slowly but surely disappearing; women are no longer satisfied with being number two at work or at home. More and more women want to be the CEO of their company and want their partner to share all aspects of their family life. They want their significant other to share cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping, and raising their children. They look for equality in their relationships and if they can’t have it, they prefer to live alone.

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